Know Your Louds
by kirbykid13
Summary: In a parody of All That's "Know Your Stars" get ready to know the Loud siblings.
1. Lincoln

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Lincoln Loud sitting in a chair on a stage.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Lincoln Loud…his favorite food is…refried dog poop castrol_

Lincoln said, "What no! My favorite food is peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich! I know that may seem gross, but I like it, and Lily likes it too."

 _Nope, nothing here on saying you like that._

Lincoln said, "Don't lie about me!"

 _Lincoln Loud…his favorite TV show is…My Little Pony Friendship is Magic_

Lincoln said, "No way! My favorite TV show is Arrgh! Get your facts right mister!"

 _Who's the expert on knowing people mister brony!_

Lincoln said, "I'm not a brony!"

 _Quiet, I run the show_

 _Lincoln Loud…he loves to read Fifty Shades of Grey in a bikini_

Lincoln said, "No no no, I love to ready Ace Savey, and I read in my underwear. I don't even want to know about that creepy…whatever it is."

 _Quiet, we all know you love to read that messed up dark stuff, and that you want to read things women love to read, especially in bikinis_

Lincoln said, "Nothing you're saying is even true!"

 _Lincoln Loud…plans to shave Lori's head after this segment_

Lincoln said, "No, I never want to shave any of my sister's heads. That's just going to an all-time low."

 _Yeah you're actually right and I was wrong_

Lincoln said, "Thank you."

 _You wanted to shave all of your sister's heads and you're starting with Lori_

Lincoln cried, "NOOOOO!"

Lori comes in and says, "Lincoln, don't you dare shave my head or I will give you a hair wash in the toilet!"

Lincoln runs away and Lori chases after him

 _Now you know Lincoln Loud_

Lincoln said, "No they don't!"

 _Yes they do_

Lincoln said, "I want a do over, and I want to hear things about me that are true!"

Lorio yelled, "Get back here Lincoln!"

Lincoln was running from Lori who was still chasing him.


	2. Lana

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

Lana Loud was sitting in a chair on a stage

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lana said, "Time for the world to know me."

 _Lana Loud…loves to wear makeup_

Lana said, "Uma, I think you're confusing me with my sister. I don't wear makeup."

 _Yes you do, now take it off_

Lana said, "I don't have any makeup on."

 _Lana Loud….goes to the bathroom in public_

Lana said, "What! I can handle gross things, but I wouldn't do that!"

 _Then explain to me why there is poop on your neighbors lawn_

Lana said, "That was from when I was walking Charles, and yes I don't pick up after him."

 _We don't lie Lana_

Lana said, "I'm not lying!"

 _Lana Loud…was raised by dinosaurs_

Lana said, "No, I'm being raised by humans, but I guess it would be cool if I was raised by dinosaurs."

 _You were, and all of the dinosaurs are extinct along with their children, and you're one of their children so how are you alive._

Lana said, "Because I'm a human, not a dinosaur."

 _I don't listen to dead people_

 _Lana Loud…secretly jumps on her twin sister's bed_

Lana said, "With all the filth I got from playing in the mud, I wouldn't that, because Lola would kill me."

 _And everyone heard, including Lola_

Lola comes in and says, "I'm gonna kill you Lana for having your muddy mess on my beautiful bed."

Lana said, "I don't jump on your bed Lola, he's lying."

 _Youngster can't kill her Lola_

Lana said, "Thank you."

Lola said, "Why not?"

 _Because you can't kill someone who's already dead_

Lana said, "I'm not dead!"

Lola said, "She's not dead, but she will be!"

Lola starts to chase Lana on her toy pink jeep.

Lana cried, "AHHHHHHHHH!"

 _Now you know Lana Loud_

Lana cried, "Now they don't!"

 _Yes they do_

Lana cried, "I want a do over! Don't say lies where Lola comes out to get me!"

Lola continued to chase Lana around on her toy pink jeep.


	3. Lynn

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Lynn sitting on a chair in the middle of the stage

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lynn said, "Bring it on mister, I'm ready to attack."

 _Lynn Loud…her favorite sport is golf_

Lynn said, "No way, that's a boring sport! Golf is for old people! I prefer football, hockey, soccer, baseball, basketball, wrestling, anything extreme."

 _Then explain why you signed up for the PGA Tour_

Lynn replied, "I didn't sign up for that boring sport."

 _Lynn Loud…in 2008, she played for the Detroit Lions_

Lynn said, "No I didn't, the Detroit Lions that year stunk, they couldn't win a game! Plus, I was five years old, I wasn't even old enough to try and play football!"

 _Really, then explain to everyone why you were in the team photo_

A picture of the 2008 Detroit Lions appeared with a player's face being replaced by Lynn's face with Photoshop.

Lynn said, "That is 100% Photoshop!"

 _You can't hide the truth_

 _Lynn Loud…has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs_

Lynn said, "No I didn't! Steroids are for cheaters, and I'm not a cheater!"

 _Of course you are, just you can find a way to wrestle with everyone and win_

Lynn screamed, "I learned in school that drugs are bad, and I never would go on steroids. My skills come from hard work, exercise, and eating healthy."

 _You forgot the part with you take your steroids afterwards_

Lynn yelled, "Stop with the lies or I will find you and break every bone in your body with my bare hands."

 _Oh, the PED girl is going to look for someone who isn't physically here and try to kill me. Everyone knows you're nothing without your steroids_

Lynn's head was turning red

 _Lynn Loud…has torn her ACL and will be out for the rest of the season_

Lynn got off her chair and stood on her feet walking around saying, "I'm fine, I didn't tear my ACL, I can still walk. I'm not hurt, but you will be soon!"

 _You did tear your ACL, you got cured by your PEDs_

Lynn said, "Everything you are saying to me and everyone else is a lie. Did you ever realized an ACL tear can take 8 months to heal, and steroids only makes the body worse, and I know it!"

 _Now you know Lynn Loud_

Lynn yelled, "No they don't!"

 _Yes they do_

Lynn screamed, "Get over here, I'm going to intently tear your ACL!"

Lynn charged at the camera as she was trying to tackle the voice over guy for telling her all those lies.


	4. Luna

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

Luna was sitting on a chair with a guitar by her side

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Luna Loud…her favorite music star is Justin Bieber_

Luna said, "What, not in a million years, my favorite music star is Mick Swagger."

 _Then explain how you crying when you cried over him_

Shows the YouTube video of 3 year old crying over Justin Bieber.

Luna said, "That's not me, that's the 3 year old who crying and you just replaced her face with mine. Also, I don't like singers with no talent."

 _Luna Loud…plays the clarinet_

Luna said picking up the guitar, "No, I rock out on an electric guitar! There's no rockin tunes on a clarinet. I'm not Squidward you moron."

 _Luna Loud…loves to speak Irish_

Luna screamed in a British tone, "I don't speak Irish, I enjoy speaking in a British tone you bloody mate!"

 _All I heard is, lucky me I got to protect me lucky charms_

Luna said, "That's I think more leprechaun, but I don't speak like that."

 _Luna Loud…her real name is George_

Luna yelled, "My name is Luna, and George sounds like the name of an old middle aged man."

 _Then explain your birth certificate_

Luna's birth certificate was shown as her name was seen, but a red x was put over Luna, and replaced with George.

Luna yelled, "You just crossed my name off and wrote George in its place."

 _No, your name is George_

Luna said, "No it's not!"

 _Now you know George Loud_

Luna said, "No they don't ,and it's Luna."

 _Yes they do George_

Luna yelled, "When I find you I'm gonna smash this guitar on your head!"

Luna stormed off the stage picking her guitar up like a hammer, and it looks like she's about to take her rage out.


	5. Lucy

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Lucy sitting in a chair on a stage, and creeping people out.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lucy said, "You don't scare me ghost."

 _Lucy Loud…she communicates with animals_

Lucy said, "No I don't, I only communicate with the spirits of the great beyond."

 _But you communicate with animals, cute little animals like bunnies, ponies_

Lucy said, "Knock it off or I will summon the spirits to punish you."

 _Lucy Loud…her favorite color is all seven colors of the rainbow_

Lucy said, "What, black is the only color that I go with, and maybe purple if it's a dark purple."

 _Oh please, I've seen you wear pink before. Remember wearing Lola's dress?_

Lucy said, "Hey, me, my brother, and my sisters were all trying to cover for each other. I hated that dress!"

 _But you loved it_

Lucy said, "No I didn't you lying ghost!"

 _Lucy Loud…her favorite food is used diapers_

Lucy said, "Are you reading something on Wikipedia? Nothing you are saying is even true! Eating diapers can kill you!"

 _If you enjoy vile smells and taste, then you should enjoy eating your baby sister's diapers_

Lucy said, "You are a sick ghost."

 _Lucy Loud…her hobbies include ballet and tap dancing_

Lucy yelled, "No my hobbies include poetry and fortune telling! Those are girly things that maybe Lola would do, but not me!"

 _Then explain why you have all of these dance trophies_

A picture of dance trophies where all names are replaced with Lucy Loud are shown

Lucy yelled, "You just replaced those trophies with my name. You don't know anything about me."

 _Now you know Lucy Loud_

Lucy said, "No they don't!"

 _Yes they do_

Lucy yelled, "Oh spirits of the great beyond, I summon you to destroy this ghost who does nothing but tell lies about me and every other person! Destroy this ghost!"

 _I'm not a ghost, I'm just a voice coming out of nowhere_

Lucy said, "I said for the spirits to destroy you!"


	6. Leni

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Leni sitting in a chair smiling.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Leni said freaking out, "Know stuff, is there a test? Oh my gosh I didn't study."

 _Leni Loud…...she's part dog, part raccoon_

Leni said, "I'm part dog and raccoon. Wow, I didn't know that!"

 _Yes you are,you want a treat_

Leni said, "Knowing that I'm part dog, yes!"

A treat is thrown to Leni and she jumps like a dog to catch it with her mouth

 _Leni Loud…...was actually born a boy_

Leni said, "I'm a boy! Wow all these years of using the girl's bathroom and I was a boy all along."

 _And using the girl's bathroom as a boy makes you a creepy_

Leni said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I never knew that about me."

 _Leni Loud…her hair is actually purple and green_

Leni said looking into a mirror, "Wow, is it possible that I have purple and green hair? I thought my hair was blonde."

 _Yes, everyone knows that your hair is purple and green_

Leni said, "I can't believe I'm knowing this stuff now."

 _Leni Loud…is actually dead_

Leni said, "I'm dead, that means I'm a ghost! How did I die? Why am I not in heaven? Do I get to say goodbye to everyone?"

 _You died after seeing yourself in socks and sandals_

Leni said, "You're right, socks with sandals is a big fashion no no! Anyone who sees themselves in that will die."

 _I forgot to tell you, your shoes are untied_

Leni said looking at her feet as she was clearly wearing sandals, "They are?"

 _Now you know Leni Loud_

Leni said, "You're absolutely right mister ghost, I never knew that stuff about me. Not only that, I don't know how to tie my shoes."

 _Yes you do_

Leni asked the voice, "Seriously, how do you tie your shoes? Why am I still here after I'm dead?"

Leni was yelling in the distance of stuff that she can't seem to understand as the camera zooms away from Leni.


	7. Luan

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Luan sitting in a chair smiling.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Luan said, "Hey what do you call a voice that talks over you, a voiceover!"

Luan then chuckled

 _Luan Loud…was born on Mars_

Luan said, "No way I was born on Mars, I wouldn't be able to breathe."

 _You are an intergalactic lifeforms_

Luan said, "Nah, if I was, my jokes would be out of this world!"

Luan chuckled

 _Luan Loud…is half human and half chair_

Luan said, "Well how can I be half chair when I was born on Mars."

 _People on Mars are half chair_

Luan said, "Well if I'm half chair, then I should wearing a Santa suit for when children get on my lap. I love to bring a smile to a child's face."

 _Luan Loud…hates children_

Luan said, "Okay mister, now you got me angry. I just told you I love to bring a smile to a child's face. That doesn't show any facts about me hating children."

 _You keep your mouth shut you monster child hater_

Luan angrily said, "I entertain kids in school and at birthday parties, and I have a joy for it. Now you shut your mouth."

 _Luan Loud…wants to become a boring politician_

Luan pulled out Mr. Coconuts and said, "Hey Mr. Coconuts, what has six legs, ears on it's belly, and smells really bad."

Mr. Coconuts said, "An ogre?"

Luan said, "Nope, the guy who's voice were hearing right now, because he's a sad loser."

 _Now you know Luan Loud_

Mr. Coconuts said, "No they don't."

 _Yes they do_

Luan said, "Well I guess it's time for me to back to Mars and serve my duties as a chair who will talk boring politics, while the voice over guy goes home to your mother who continously wonders why he is still living with her without any girlfriend."

Mr. Coconuts said, "Because he loves to tell lies about people that make them hate him."

Luan said, "Exactly, GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

Luan got up on her feet and took a bow, and her dummy even took a bow.


	8. Lola

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

Lola was sitting in a chair smiling while showing the gap between her front teeth waving.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lola said, "Hello everyone in the world seeing my beautiful pretty face."

 _Lola Loud…plays in the garbage_

Lola said, "What, who got their facts one me? I don't play in the garbage, playing in the garbage is so gross and is more of Lana's thing."

 _No, you enjoy playing in the garbage. You love it so much you want to live in the city dump_

Lola said, "No, I don't want to ever live in a dump!"

 _Lola Loud…has a pet possum_

Lola said, "Ewwww, possums are gross. I would never own a possum as a pet!"

 _You do have a possum, his name is Geo_

Lola screamed, "Geo is a hamster, not a possum! Do you know anything about me!"

 _Lola Loud…her everyday wardrobe includes a white T-shirt, sweatpants, and cheap sneakers_

Lola yelled, "I don't dress like a slob! I wear a dress with dress up shoes, dress up gloves, and a tiara!"

 _Yeah right, and you also bathe in gold so you can look like a rich spoiled brat_

Lola said, "You listen here, I'm a frequent pageant winner in every little miss everything I've been in. I can make the world a better place by bringing peace, ending world hunger, and putting you a hundred kajillion miles underground."

 _Lola Loud…sleeps in Lana's bed every night_

Lola said, "I tried to kill Lana for that stuff you said, now I'm starting to believe that is all lies!"

 _No, everything I say about you is 100% true_

Lola said pulling off one of her dress shoes, "Take this!"

Lola throws her shoe at the screen, but the shoe hits no one

 _You can't hit me, I'm just a voice coming out of nowhere. There's nothing you can do_

Lola screamed, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 _Now you know Lola Loud_

Lola yelled, "No they don't!"

 _Yes they do_

Lola said, "You are a liar."

 _No I'm not_

Lola continued to argue with the voice as the voice keeps saying the opposite of what Lola is saying.


	9. Lisa

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Lisa sitting in a chair looking at a clipboard.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lisa said, "I really don't have time for this."

 _Lisa Loud…lives in a McDonald's_

Lisa said, "No I don't, If me and my family lived in a McDonald's, we would be dying of heart attacks because we would only eat food with a high level of cholesterol and fat."

 _Then why is it that you always have a greasy kitchen?_

Lisa answered, "Because we live in a house with a population of 17 lifeforms. Two adults, eleven kids, and four animals that can raised as pets. Get your facts right."

 _Lisa Loud…...failed preschool_

Lisa said, "I'll accept that fact if you can tell me what the weight of a carbon nucleus is divided by oxygen to the seventh power and multiply that by 7."

 _See why she failed preschool_

Lisa said, "See why you're dumb."

 _Lisa Loud…is dumber than her sister Leni_

Lisa said, "Judging by all of these lies you tell me to attack me, it appears you have some life problems and want to make yourself feeling better by saying lies about other people.

 _Oh, since when did you become a therapist?_

Lisa said, "It's my scientific theory, and there is a developmental impossibly that I'm dumber than that airhead Leni."

 _Lisa Loud…won a Grammy for best country singer_

Lisa said, "Once again it's your life issues by saying I won a music award rather than mention my noble peace prize in physics."

 _Tell them about your country hit song_

Lisa said, "Easy, it's about a sad voice who helps his emotional scars by telling the world false information. And I mention that the voice needs help for brain alteracation."

 _Now you know Lisa Loud_

Lisa said, "Negative. They know you are dumb, sad, and an embrassed to the world. I can schedule you an appointment with Clyde's therapist. How does Thursday sound?"

 _I'm not crazy_

Lisa said, "Of course you are. I'm sure Dr. Lopez would be pleased to meet you."

Lisa picked up the phone and called Clyde's therapist.

Lisa said on the phone, "Hello is this Dr. Lopez. I got Clyde McBride as a reference, he's my brother's friend."


	10. Lori

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

Lori was sitting on a chair texting on her phone.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lori said, "Bobby I have to go, some strange voice is going to say gross things about me that aren't true."

 _Lori Loud…her boyfriend is Clyde McBride_

Lori said, "Um no, my boyfriend's name is Bobby Santiago. I'm not that weird kid's girlfriend."

 _You're just denying it_

Lori angrily said, "I'm not, it's the truth!"

 _Lori Loud…is now engaged to Clyde McBride_

Lori yelled, "What, no I'm not engaged to Lincoln's friend! I don't even have a ring on my finger!"

 _You are engaged, better yet the wedding is going to start right now_

Lori said, "What is going on? Where are you getting your facts?"

 _Lori Loud…do you take Clyde McBride to be your lawfully wedded husband_

Lori said, "This is not a real wedding. I didn't get a chance to get prepared, and most importantly I'm not marrying Clyde!"

 _Come on, I need you to say I do_

Lori said, "It's only a wedding when the bride and groom are here."

Then a cardboard cutout of Clyde in a white tuxedo appeared next to Lori

Lori said, "That is clearly just a cutout. Just ask me something else."

 _Okay_

 _Lori Loud…her weekly chore is taking out the trash_

Lori said, "Taking out the trash is Lincoln's job, I do the laundry as my weekly chore."

 _I now pronounce you and Clyde husband and wife, you may now kiss the cardboard Clyde_

Lori said, 'You tricked me, and I would have to kiss the real Clyde."

Bobby appeared and said, "You married someone else, you broke my heart."

Bobby ran off crying and Lori said, "That's not true, he was trying to trick me into a marriage."

 _Now you know Lori McBride_

Lori yelled, "You ruined my life! Bobby hates me forever and it's all your fault! I hate you…what's your name?"

 _I'm just a voice coming out of nowhere_

Lori picked up the cardboard Clyde and tried to throw it at wherever the voice was coming from.

Lori yelled, "My name is not Lori McBride!"


	11. Lily

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House**

We see Lily sitting in a high chair giggling.

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

 _Know your Louds_

Lily says, "Poo poo."

 _Lily Loud…is part baby and part elephant_

Lily just giggled and Lincoln came onto the stage.

Lincoln said holding his nose, "Somebody needs a diaper change."

 _Lily Loud…was sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor_

Lincoln said, "Knock it off, she's a baby. Is this bad voice scaring you?"

Lincoln pulled out a diaper out of a special kind of box. The box read, made by Lisa Loud.

Lincoln said, "Lisa made these special kind of diapers for you Lily."

 _Lily Loud…wants Lincoln and his sisters to be trampled by buffalo_

Lincoln said while changing Lily's diaper, "She's a baby, her mind isn't completely able to process yet. Plus she loves us."

Lincoln finished changing Lily's diaper, and now she was wearing a special kind of science diaper made by Lisa.

Lincoln said, "Okay Lily, this is a special kind of diaper Lisa made. Instead of the poo poo being in your diaper, it will go somewhere else so that way we don't have to complete take the bad smell, and try to keep your diaper nice and clean."

Lily giggles in front of her big brother

 _Lily Loud…she thinks Kim Kardashian is the greatest celebrity ever_

Lily says, "Poo poo."

Lily then takes a poo poo in her special diaper, and the poo pool goes somewhere else like…

 _AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS!_

Lily giggles and makes more poo poo going to where the voice is.

 _Make it stop, make it stop! How are you even giving me these awful presents! I'm a voice that comes out of nowhere!_

Lily says, "Poo poo."

 _AHHHHHHHHH! This is the worst pain ever! HEEEELLLLLPPPPP!_

Lily then giggles and makes even more poo pool

 _AHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOO!_

Lincoln said hugging Lily, "I love you Lily."

Lily giggled and said, "Poo poo."

 _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Mom, dad, you're right! I should've went to medical school. Get me out of here! I hate the pain I'm going through! AHHHHHHHHH!_

You don't know Lily Loud, but now you know the Know Your Louds voice. He just got the ultimate payback for humiliating the Louds with those lies.


End file.
